What do cliques do

But earlier on in your school life it can take a lot of courage to leave a clique or decide to remain on the outside. Beware of online groups and cliques using social network sites. These have become popular sites to put others down, invite only selected friends to a party, and make mean comments or posts.

People can even build fake profiles. Only post profile information and photos that you want everyone to see. Keep your messages to other people online private. Whether you're on the inside or the outside, cliques can make your life tough. But there are ways to cope:.

Friendships change. Just as one clique can make life miserable, changes in social groups can take their power away. You may encounter cliques as a freshman or sophomore. But the good news is that most cliques disappear by the end of high school. Want to know the real secret to being popular and having friends? Be a good friend yourself. People who enjoy true and lasting popularity are those who have good friendship skills. Being a friend means being respectful, fair, interested, trustworthy, honest, caring, and kind.

So if you want to have friends, be just the kind of friend you'd like to have and stay true to who you are. Reviewed by: Kathryn Hoffses, PhD. Larger text size Large text size Regular text size. A Group of Friends vs.

Why Do Cliques Attract People? Surviving Cliques Whether you're on the inside or the outside, cliques can make your life tough. But there are ways to cope: Know yourself — and your reputation. Now is a time for getting in touch with your values, interests, and beliefs. If you're encountering cliques, it's a good opportunity to ask yourself some self-discovery questions about what you and your true friends give each other.

Do you want to be part of a group because you need to feel accepted or because you actually share their values? Has your group of friends morphed into something you don't like? How do your friends influence the way people think about you? Does this make you feel good or bad? Stay involved in activities that make you feel good about yourself. If you're in a clique, don't let the group pressure you into giving up things you love or spending time and money on things that aren't important to you.

If you're on the outside and feeling left out, getting involved in things that interest you is a great way to find a sense of belonging, help you feel valued, and take your mind off a group that's not welcoming. If you don't have friends at school, join a volunteer group helping others or the environment can make you feel good about yourself.

Keep your social circles open and diverse. Cliques can be very limiting in the way they control how members look, think, dress, and behave. Don't let them make you miss out on getting to know people who may become close friends. If you're on the outside, it can help to find a close friend or group of friends whose values, goals, and behaviors fit in with yours. Have them keep an eye out for bullying and name calling. As much as it may feel good to both of you in the moment, it sets the wrong example and could make reconciliation difficult for your child later.

Role play at home will make school easier. To help make the days ahead feel surmountable, ask your child if she would like to talk through hypothetical social scenarios. What should your child do if she has to eat lunch by herself? Maybe she can read a book while she eats, or you two can talk about who else she could approach. What should she do if one of the girls says something mean to her?

Walk away. For younger kids up to around age 11 or 12 , this exercise tends to feel empowering, says MacEvoy. Teenagers may find it cheesy; offer them an ear instead. If they can make up, it may be possible for the whole group to get back together, albeit with a bit of tension in the ranks.

Sometimes you just have to find new friends. When a group has truly caused pain—or formally ousted your child—she may have no choice but to leave it behind and seek out new friends. You might see groups of people sequester themselves from others. Middle managers or even upper management can create force fields around themselves, cutting them off from the rest of the company, leading to feelings of uncertainty.

To build an atmosphere of safety and bring down the walls of distrust, focus on understanding, value and respect. To get this right, the respect has to start at the top. Model the behaviors and the atmosphere that you expect from your staff. Respect their opinion, whether you agree or not. If you set the tone, your team should follow your lead. Your company should have a list of values that dictates how you treat each other and your customers.

They should be available for all to see. If needed, post them. Then, put them into practice. You could take one a month and focus on it across the company. For example, if community involvement is important, plan a group workday at a nonprofit organization. Coming together for a common cause breaks down all kinds of barriers. Have respect for the individual and show appreciation for what they offer. Equip your team to share a common vision.

Then everyone uniquely adds their own value to the mission. He may not get kudos for a dynamite innovation, but Eddie plays a significant role and should be rewarded for it. Oftentimes, we spend most of our time praising the superstars and guiding the troublemakers.

Make sure those who carry the water on a regular basis know how much you appreciate them. Being inclusive can start with you.

One thing to be careful of is insisting on participation in activities. Warning: It may take some humility on your part. Let your team know you made a mistake by not providing enough information on the type of team, company and culture you want.

When you make this mea culpa, you had better follow through.